Sunday....fun day?!?

Welp, it is Sunday and as Cyndi Lauper said, "that's my fun day!"...right.  LOL.  Now, let me start by saying I do love Sundays.  I love getting to go to church and see friends and family.  I do look forward to that all week....it is the getting there that I am not so fond of.....Picture this and tell me if it sounds like your Sunday mornings (and if it doesn't...call me, I need some tips).

7:45 am....roll over and look at clock, decide I can sleep for at least another hour, church doesn't start until 10 and we will need to leave by 9:45 so I roll over and get some much needed "beauty" sleep.

9:15 am.....crap, I overslept.  Jump out of bed, scream at the kids to get up and start getting ready.  Jump in the shower (knowing that it takes 30 minutes-at least-to get myself presentable and I have 3 additional bodies to get dressed and I am NEVER gonna make it) and hit the high spots (in mom speak-wash hair, body, and run the razor over the lower part of my leg....the only part that will be visible under my skirt...or if pants/long dress are an option this step may be omitted).  While in shower, periodically stick head out to ok clothes choices...which was a very important step this morning when Mia (my middle child) comes into the bathroom wearing a shirt and shoes.  I said, "Mia, where are your leggings or shorts or something?"  She said, "I thought this was a dress?"  I look at her and her "dress" which might cover the bottom of her butt check....if it were 4 inches longer.  :/  "No, honey.  That is a shirt....go change clothes."  Back in the shower, I am shaking my head and thanking the good Lord for another day because Heaven knows if I were not here, Todd would totally have fallen for that, "Oh, I thought it was a dress" bit.

9:25 am.....Out of the shower, trying to dry off while everyone walks in and out. Privacy?  Is there such a thing for moms??

9:27 am....I am jolted from brushing my teeth by a shrill scream, so I run down the hall to find Ella flogging....this is the best term I can think of since it looks like a hen on top another, wings flinging, spurs showing....Mia is screaming.  "Stop!!!"  I scream at the top of my lungs.  "What are you doing?" "Mia took my iPad!"  Now, the back story here is that Mia saved her money since her birthday in February, every lost tooth, every reward, and got her own iPad last month.  Why in the world she needed Ella's is beside me!  Anyway, as I begin to try to diffuse the situation, Ella...my sweet, lovely Ella, who has been possessed by the pre-teen spirit that has turned my sweet girl into a snarky, sulky, smart-mouthed turd...smarts off about something.  At that point, I am fairly certain that my head did a complete 360 on my shoulders like Linda Blair in the Exorcist.......it was not pretty...

9:35 am.....drying hair, sweating like a pig.

9:45 am...Sophie (who I have already dressed) walks into the bathroom in a leotard....."Sophie, why are you in dance clothes?"  "I want to go to dance class," she replies.  So, I go and put her clothes, shoes, bow back on.

9:51 am....I tell Ella to take everyone to the car and watch a movie while I finish getting dressed.  Surely, if they are all in the car nothing can happen, right???

10:00 am...run out the door...we will only be 15 minutes late...

10:01 am...get to the car, doors are locked, radio blaring, someone crying.  Bang on window till Ella opens the door.  "Why are the doors locked?"  "You tell us to lock the doors so strangers can't get us!"  "WE are in the stinkin' driveway....I don't think any STRANGERS are here!!"  "Mia, why are you crying?"  "Ella hit me!"  "Ella, why did you hit her?"  "I didn't hit her!"  "Yes, she did!"  "No, I didn't!"  "You are a tattletale!"  "You are!" "No, you are!"  "You are!"  "SHHHUUUUUTTTT  UUUPPPPP!!"....yes, I said it, the "s" word.  At this point, my hair has fallen from the sweat, my makeup is melting off my face, my eyes are bloodshot and the veins in my throat are standing at end from screaming!  "NO ONE SAY A WORD UNTIL WE GET TO CHURCH!!".........off we go.

10:01 and 32 seconds....."Mama?"  "Yes, Mia?"  "Can I have a piece of gum?"  "Mia, what part of "do not say a word" did you not get??"

10:01 and 55 seconds...."Mama?"  "Yes, Ella?"  "I didn't brush my teeth."  "Ella, what part of "do not say a word did you not get" and don't breathe on anyone."

10:02 and 15 seconds...."Mama?"  "Yes, Sophie?"  "I don't have any shoes."  "What?!? WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES??!!??"  "At home."  ......screeeccchhhh to a halt, jerk it into reverse, back home to get shoes that she took off BEFORE she walked out the door.

10:22 am....arrive at church, hair a wreck, kids in tears, red faces, blood pressure off the scales....."Now, get in there and be nice....we are at church, for goodness sake."......I am pretty sure we are in desperate need of church at this point......yep, I'm that mom.  :)  Happy Sunday!