What goes "_____" in the night......

Our house is RARELY still, except....I had always assumed... at night.  I am now beginning to wonder about that....A few weeks ago, Todd was up late working at the kitchen table and Mia walked in.  He said her name a few times and she didn't respond.  Mia has sleep walked in the past, so he really didn't think much about it...until....she walked over to the sink. Again, he called her name with no response.  He said that the next thing she did was open the dishwasher and start to pull her pants down like she was going to the potty!  Luckily, he jumped up and grabbed her and got her to the bathroom but she remembered nothing the next day.  I didn't think much more about it until I went to put some clothes in the laundry this morning and the basket next to the washer had something in it....

Why yes.....that is a laundry basket full of pee......

Never a dull moment around here....apparently even at night!  Happy Thanksgiving Eve!!  :)

What's that smell???

 

This is Sophie....cute, sweet, mischievous Sophie. 

I ventured in to Sophie's room and was instantly hit with a "smell."  Now, as a mother, I am not a stranger to smells.  In fact, smells are just a part of the daily life..."Who did that?" "Brush your teeth?" "Yes, you are supposed to wipe that!"...the list goes on and on.  So, initially I didn't get concerned.  But, when the "smell" stayed and began to creep out into the rest of the house, I decided it was time to investigate. She is my third, so I can honestly say I am surprised at very little.  But what I discovered was a first.....

 

 





Apparently, her play kitchen was not complete with real food....a bag of shredded cheese, a bag of lettuce, some bagels, and some bananas......

 

THIS KID KILLS ME!  :)

Oh Snack Day...I Doth Loathe Thee.....

Yes, it is true.  I have admitted this fact on here before and in admitting it, you would think that I would change my ways......no such luck.  OK, so this month I was sure to put snack day in BOLD print on the calendar.  ( I WAS TRYING!  I REALLY WAS!)

 

But wouldn't you know the morning of the 17th, at about 7 a.m., my husband looks at me with this panicked look and says, "You do know it is Mia's snack day, don't you??" 

 

SIDE NOTE: Now this is the part of the story when my blood pressure rises to stroke levels and I have to fight the urge to scream at him and say, "Why is it that because God gave me one of your ribs and a uterus, I am supposed to remember every blessed thing in this house??" But, I refrain.

 

It is at this point, panic sets in.  We have to leave in 5 minutes.  It is Wednesday, which means that anything decent that was purchased at the grocery store has now been consumed.  It has to be healthy....lord knows if it could be "Little Debbie's" I would be fine.  But at this point, I got nothin'.  Then in an "Ah-Ha" moment, my husband and I lock gazes and for one of the very few times, have a mutual thought.  PANTRY CLEAN OUT TIME!!  I go straight for "the untouchables,"  I know you all have these too...it is the one or two items left out of a pack of crackers, granola bars, etc., that for some reason unknown to man, no one will eat.  I am not sure why it happens, but there are always random left overs.  Maybe we grew tired of them before we ate the last one and they just stay in the pantry until I finally accept the fact that NO ONE is going to touch them...."the untouchables."







The basket of "Untouchables"...there are fiber bars, granola bars, nutrigrain bars, you name it......



I quickly grab the basket full and start counting...we need 19...... please let there be 19......16, 17, 18.....YES, 19!  Success! 

It is at this point, that Mia walks into the room and realizes what we are doing.....and FLIPS out!  "NO! NO! NO!  I am not carrying those for snack, everyone will hate me if I bring that for snack!"  She is crying hysterically!  Her father and I are just standing there, shocked.  I mean who knew that "snack" was such a big, stinkin' deal?  The granola bars are fine (I promise I wouldn't send out of date stuff) and everyone can chose a different one, how cool is that?  I tried to explain this to Mia....who was not hearing one word! 

 

OK, plan "B".  Since carrying this snack must be akin to social suicide in a 1st graders mind, we have to come up with something.  Back to the pantry......where I find not 1, not 2, but 3- half-eaten boxes of Cheez-Its.  Now, why we had 3 half-eaten boxes is beside me....in fact, it is about as confusing as why we can't finish a whole box of granola bars (or the many other household mysteries....why it is so hard to put another roll of toilet paper on the roll and who takes that 1 sock out of the dryer and hides it?").  But, we rush to fill 19 snack bags with Cheez-Its.....some kids got exactly 9 crackers....sorry!  But, Mia is satisfied and off to school she goes.   She comes in that afternoon, hugs me hello and says, "everyone loved my snack, Mom!"  SUCCESS!.....until next time. :)

A little harder than I thought.....

Ok, so I was totally revved up about this blogging thing.  My mind is constantly running with things I need to post, but guess what happened?  Life.  Yep, life.  I find that at the end of the day, I am too darn tired (lazy, even) to go three steps over to my computer and type.  I know it isn't just me, but do you moms out there just feel like you are pulled every which way?  I feel so torn sometimes ... work, house, kids, husband.....and rarely do any of them get 100% cause there just isn't enough to go around!!  LOL.  Not complaining, just stating facts. :) SOOOO.....in the week + that I have missed, we have had FALL BREAK.....I honestly think I love this more that the kids! No lunches, no schedule, no bedtimes, no homework.....aaaaahhhhhh.  We had a staycation (yes, I am using the made up term we people who weren't able to go out of town use to try and make our inability to do so sound cool  :))....went to the zoo, hung around the house, slept late, and of course had multiple knock-down drag outs.  Sisterly love, not!  Speaking of sisterly love, our darling Sophie, our youngest and most mischeveous child yet (thank goodness she is the last :)), decided to show us just how much she loves her sisters...........

 

Nothing says I love you like scribbling your face out and putting on some buck teeth, right?  I asked her if she did it and she grinned and said, "No, Lella (Sophie speak for "Ella") did it."  I said, "Ella did it?  Why would Ella color her face out?"  She smiled, slyly, and said, "Nooooo......I did it. But I didn't mean to."  You can guess my response....."SO, the sharpie was possessed and flew into the air and colored your sister's faces out or you fell down with the pen and just hit the picture or you had some kind of spasm that forced you to scribble their faces out or maybe you were mad cause you weren't in the picture......"  This rant was, of course, wasted on my 3 year old who blankly stared at me and said, "Lep (Sophie speak for "Yep")."   Lord, help me......but I will say, she keeps things interesting. 

 

Today is her birthday and something about your birthday brings out the love....or maybe they were just eyeing the cake......

 

Oh, and I did manage to text invites to her party Saturday night on Saturday morning.......yep, I'm that mom.  :)

 



Sunday....fun day?!?

Welp, it is Sunday and as Cyndi Lauper said, "that's my fun day!"...right.  LOL.  Now, let me start by saying I do love Sundays.  I love getting to go to church and see friends and family.  I do look forward to that all week....it is the getting there that I am not so fond of.....Picture this and tell me if it sounds like your Sunday mornings (and if it doesn't...call me, I need some tips).

7:45 am....roll over and look at clock, decide I can sleep for at least another hour, church doesn't start until 10 and we will need to leave by 9:45 so I roll over and get some much needed "beauty" sleep.

9:15 am.....crap, I overslept.  Jump out of bed, scream at the kids to get up and start getting ready.  Jump in the shower (knowing that it takes 30 minutes-at least-to get myself presentable and I have 3 additional bodies to get dressed and I am NEVER gonna make it) and hit the high spots (in mom speak-wash hair, body, and run the razor over the lower part of my leg....the only part that will be visible under my skirt...or if pants/long dress are an option this step may be omitted).  While in shower, periodically stick head out to ok clothes choices...which was a very important step this morning when Mia (my middle child) comes into the bathroom wearing a shirt and shoes.  I said, "Mia, where are your leggings or shorts or something?"  She said, "I thought this was a dress?"  I look at her and her "dress" which might cover the bottom of her butt check....if it were 4 inches longer.  :/  "No, honey.  That is a shirt....go change clothes."  Back in the shower, I am shaking my head and thanking the good Lord for another day because Heaven knows if I were not here, Todd would totally have fallen for that, "Oh, I thought it was a dress" bit.

9:25 am.....Out of the shower, trying to dry off while everyone walks in and out. Privacy?  Is there such a thing for moms??

9:27 am....I am jolted from brushing my teeth by a shrill scream, so I run down the hall to find Ella flogging....this is the best term I can think of since it looks like a hen on top another, wings flinging, spurs showing....Mia is screaming.  "Stop!!!"  I scream at the top of my lungs.  "What are you doing?" "Mia took my iPad!"  Now, the back story here is that Mia saved her money since her birthday in February, every lost tooth, every reward, and got her own iPad last month.  Why in the world she needed Ella's is beside me!  Anyway, as I begin to try to diffuse the situation, Ella...my sweet, lovely Ella, who has been possessed by the pre-teen spirit that has turned my sweet girl into a snarky, sulky, smart-mouthed turd...smarts off about something.  At that point, I am fairly certain that my head did a complete 360 on my shoulders like Linda Blair in the Exorcist.......it was not pretty...

9:35 am.....drying hair, sweating like a pig.

9:45 am...Sophie (who I have already dressed) walks into the bathroom in a leotard....."Sophie, why are you in dance clothes?"  "I want to go to dance class," she replies.  So, I go and put her clothes, shoes, bow back on.

9:51 am....I tell Ella to take everyone to the car and watch a movie while I finish getting dressed.  Surely, if they are all in the car nothing can happen, right???

10:00 am...run out the door...we will only be 15 minutes late...

10:01 am...get to the car, doors are locked, radio blaring, someone crying.  Bang on window till Ella opens the door.  "Why are the doors locked?"  "You tell us to lock the doors so strangers can't get us!"  "WE are in the stinkin' driveway....I don't think any STRANGERS are here!!"  "Mia, why are you crying?"  "Ella hit me!"  "Ella, why did you hit her?"  "I didn't hit her!"  "Yes, she did!"  "No, I didn't!"  "You are a tattletale!"  "You are!" "No, you are!"  "You are!"  "SHHHUUUUUTTTT  UUUPPPPP!!"....yes, I said it, the "s" word.  At this point, my hair has fallen from the sweat, my makeup is melting off my face, my eyes are bloodshot and the veins in my throat are standing at end from screaming!  "NO ONE SAY A WORD UNTIL WE GET TO CHURCH!!".........off we go.

10:01 and 32 seconds....."Mama?"  "Yes, Mia?"  "Can I have a piece of gum?"  "Mia, what part of "do not say a word" did you not get??"

10:01 and 55 seconds...."Mama?"  "Yes, Ella?"  "I didn't brush my teeth."  "Ella, what part of "do not say a word did you not get" and don't breathe on anyone."

10:02 and 15 seconds...."Mama?"  "Yes, Sophie?"  "I don't have any shoes."  "What?!? WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES??!!??"  "At home."  ......screeeccchhhh to a halt, jerk it into reverse, back home to get shoes that she took off BEFORE she walked out the door.

10:22 am....arrive at church, hair a wreck, kids in tears, red faces, blood pressure off the scales....."Now, get in there and be nice....we are at church, for goodness sake."......I am pretty sure we are in desperate need of church at this point......yep, I'm that mom.  :)  Happy Sunday!

Another day, another pin....

I don't know about you other moms, but I LOVE pinterest.  I love pinterest so much that I could look at it for hours, days maybe.  I love all the cute tips and tricks (who knew that you could use cake icing to reduce pores...jk, that is not true.....you know how you see it on pinterest and think, wow, I never knew that vinegar had so many uses and then you try mopping the floor with it---"you" being some other person and certainly not me----and then your entire house smells like one giant dirty sock and you want to bag up that scent and send it to the person who pinned it in the first place and say, "Hey, did your house smell like this when you did it.....cause mine does :/). 

Anyhooooo, pinterest fails aside, I do seriously love it.  I mean who knew there were so many stinkin' crafty people in the world and when did they find time to try to put burlap on a toilet paper roll and make the cutest little knick-knack you have ever seen??!!??  I pin everything and think....oohhh, I am so gonna do that one.  Only usually that never happens or when it does, it turns out like, uuummmm, this.....

 

Now, I am sure that this never happens to any of you all........riiigghhhtt???  But I did just buy 20 yards of burlap and I am hoping that some AMAZING ideas start popping into my head.......otherwise, if you need some burlap to make 10,000 potato sacks....I have plenty.

 

 

OH, and my "that" mom moment of the day.....

 

After blogging yesterday about forgetting snack, guess what???  I REMEMBERED THE STINKIN' SNACK....after my husband reminded me......yep, I'm "that" mom.  :)

Yep, I am "that"mom.....

I am the mom that sends her kids to school with no snack, who pins a thousand things on pinterest but never finds the time to do them, who picks the pacifier up off the floor and says "five second rule", whose kids go to town with *gasp* mis-matched clothes, who doesn't always make sure teeth and hair get brushed, who looks at those mom's who always remember Teacher Appreciation Day and hand-made valentines for their kids class and thinks....when does she have time for that.  Yep, that is me. 

 "MOM OF THE YEAR"....stuffed her 1 year olds foot into a size 5 shoe only to go to Stride Rite to get measured and find out she needed a 7...wide.  Got to church on Easter Sunday and pulled her sweet girl, smocked dress and matching bow, into her lap.....only to discover her daughter never put panties on that morning.  Flying in at the last minute for school pickup instead of being the one that sits for two hours outside school just so little Johnny is the first one picked up.....that is me. 

My Sweet Girls...who really, really did not want to take this picture :)

 

Regardless of my downfalls, I am also "that" mom who sings her kids to sleep, cries at every triumph, tragedy, picture, commercial, song....you name it, I probably cry.  I love my kids to the moon and back, even if I don't have a cricut cutout to show it, don't always remember to send important things back in to school, and plan birthday parties the day before.....and this blog is all about being "that" mom and the crazy world of a working mom (now please stay-at-home mom's don't take offense, I just haven't figured out a way to get paid to stay at home yet  :)...I know you are working mom's too!) with three silly girls who keep me busy....and I wouldn't change a thing (well, except that working from home thing....).  I know I'm not the only "that"mom out there, right???